My Body is Working!

Oh, hello! Hi there! Hey womanhood! I forgot what you felt like. I just got my period for the first time in 9 months. My body inexplicably took a pregnancy-long break from bleeding, which had its perks, but I'm feeling ecstatic and relieved to be back in the game.

I say inexplicably, but I suspect my menstrual hiatus might have had something to do with starting a meal plan in January where I ate a set amount of food every day and eliminated all flour and sugar from my diet. The plan was recommended by a nutritionist, and it was extremely helpful to see how much food my body actually needed in a day, but I came to rely on this plan over listening to my body's cues for hunger and satiety. Starting in August I began following the principles of Intuitive Eating, which involved reintroducing "forbidden" foods and giving myself unconditional permission to eat. Making this shift wasn't/isn't easy. I need to remember that I'm repairing a broken relationship with my body. We are learning how to trust each other again after years of ignoring and dismissing one another:

Me: Don't eat that cake!

Body: But I want cake!

Me: Fine have one bite.

Body: *Eats 3 pieces and keeps going back to scrape off more frosting from the cake platter.*

Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Body: You said I could have some!! You never let me have cake so I thought this would be my last chance. Plus you didn't feed my enough at dinner anyways!

Me: Okay that's it. We're leaving this party and doing back to back Bikram yoga.

Body: NOOO!! You always do this!! Why can't you just be nicer to me?!

Me: Maybe I'll be nicer when you get smaller!!!

Body: I hate you.

Me: I hate you, too.

Thankfully it's been a long time since a scene like that has transpired, but it's important to remember that this is how my body and I used to treat each other. Our relationship gets better every day and getting my period feels like I just got a love letter from my body:

Hey Katie!

Thank you for trying to listen to me and feed me what I ask for. You're doing the best you can and I really appreciate it. I promise to start working how I'm supposed to and keep telling you what I need. Here's a little biological sign that we're on the right track! Know that you're doing enough even when you don't think you are. I know it's hard to let go of control when you're so used to micromanaging all the food that goes into me and the exercise that comes out of me and what size I am. Thank you for finally being willing to let go of this control one day at a time. I promise you can trust me to tell you what I need. You can relax and enjoy living your life--talk to your friends, draw cartoons, learn a new song on the guitar, tell some jokes! I promise that I will take care of the rest. We're a great team.

Love,

Your Body

PS: Sorry about the cramps--remember they're so much worse because of your copper IUD? But also, yay IUD! That's how you knew you weren't pregnant for all those months you didn't get your period. Can you imagine how many pregnancy tests you would have bought out of paranoia?! Don't forget, you're the Catholic school girl who took a pregnancy test the first time you touched a penis through pants. You saved yourself so much money and stress! Keep up the great work.