Self-Belief and Other Feats

This was a big week! I accepted my first part-time OT job (working at a pediatric clinic 8 hours/week) AND I had my first paid acting gig in New York (well, New Jersey technically, shooting comedy shorts...more details to come). Both were important, encouraging steps. I've made a conscious effort to avoid hiding behind my OT career as a security blanket--it's HARD! It's hard in conversations to say "I'm an actor." It's easier to say "I'm trying to do the acting thing"..."I'm a pediatric occupational therapist and I also do comedy"..."I moved to New York for acting--but I'm of course also planning to work part time as an OT because I'm not pretending to be good enough to be able to feed myself with acting money! That's just ridiculous and I'm certainly not a ridiculous person." But guess what...I am an actor and I'm going to keep fighting the urge to diminish my dreams. Here's a poem that I love that says the things I just said in a nice poem-y way. (And below that are some other fun things I've been up to.)

For the young who want to

BY MARGE PIERCY

Talent is what they say
you have after the novel
is published and favorably
reviewed. Beforehand what
you have is a tedious
delusion, a hobby like knitting.

Work is what you have done
after the play is produced
and the audience claps.
Before that friends keep asking
when you are planning to go
out and get a job.

Genius is what they know you
had after the third volume
of remarkable poems. Earlier
they accuse you of withdrawing,
ask why you don’t have a baby,
call you a bum.

The reason people want M.F.A.’s,
take workshops with fancy names
when all you can really
learn is a few techniques,
typing instructions and some-
body else’s mannerisms

is that every artist lacks
a license to hang on the wall
like your optician, your vet
proving you may be a clumsy sadist
whose fillings fall into the stew
but you’re certified a dentist.

The real writer is one
who really writes. Talent
is an invention like phlogiston
after the fact of fire.
Work is its own cure. You have to
like it better than being loved.